Kurosaki, K Accidentally in Love
by Twilight Antediluvian
Summary: Strongly HitsuKarin, NOTE: *M-rated*. Belongs to my "Kurosaki, K." storylines, but placed here because of rating. Some doors, once opened, will never close. Some images, once seen, can never be forgotten. Work title: "Lust, Lost, Love"
1. A Tou Unexpected

_A/N: Some things, such as Dream (sequel to "Memory") and "Kurosaki, K." (the "main" storyline of this fic) will not be added to "the Young Taichou With A Warm Heart"C2, because they are simply more Karin-centric than Hitsugaya-centric and in the latter __storyline I can't promise to __**always**__ include Hitsu. On the other hand, anything Karin-centric I write will include him one way or another, sooner or later, so if you like my writing I suggest checking those out. _

**Characters**: Hitsugaya, Karin, (OC bi-char), Matsumoto

**Year**: Soul Society Arc +82 ("Dearly Beloved Konso" +9)

*

_Pendulum Heart ~ You say I sway, but even that is made of what stays constant.__ – _Secret Vespers 2008-06-18

*

_**Kurosaki**__**, K. (pt 2)**_

_**Accidentally in Love**__** (Lust, Lost, Love)**_

Sometimes, when the roof of Tenth wasn't solitary enough, Hitsugaya went to the deserted warehouse to think. It was close enough to Seireitei to be reachable by _shunpo_, but far enough that anyone without it would consider it pointless to hike to. It was also out of the way, where few people would look for something like that. The shunpo step took him all the way up to the half-open door and he stepped through without hesitating, without even thinking. Nobody ever came here.

"Ah… I'm not made of glass, you know…"

Her voice was heavy and to his surprise Hitsugaya recognised it instantly. If he hadn't, the sight of their two unclothed bodies by one of the worktops would have tipped him off. He felt his jaw drop, his legs wouldn't move, his eyes unfocused.

"Come on… I'm flexible if you are." He even knew the grin that went with that tone of her voice. "Eiji, maybe I…" She lifted her head up to the man's shoulder to hold him close. Her dark eyes met Hitsugaya's sea-green ones and blinked twice in complete surprise. Then, she smiled.

"_Karin_…"

The stranger's voice mumbling her name echoed in his head as Hitsugaya pushed his shunpo to the limit, getting away from there. There had been rumours that she was fair game, if one dared risk incurring Kurosaki-taichou's wrath.

There had also been rumours that she refused to enter into any steady relationships, but those were only whispered at night and in very hushed voices. Kurosaki-taichou did _not_ like people gossiping about his younger sister, even after she had made it perfectly clear that he had nothing to do with what she did or who she did it with. That particular conversation, of course, had been about another matter entirely. It had taken place by Karin's sick bed in the fourth division after she had challenged Zaraki Kenpachi to a mock fight. Even Unohana-taichou had trouble calming the enraged older sibling, then.

Apparently at least one of these rumours was true. Hitsugaya wasn't sure how he'd ever get the picture of her laughing eyes and slender curves out of his head. There were really only two things he _could_ do, to try. And releasing Hyorinmaru, from whom waves of amusement were echoing throughout his head, didn't seem like the logical choice.

Thus, work was needed. More specifically, lots and lots of paperwork. Maybe he could ask Kurosaki if he wanted some help with… no. That was a _bad_ idea.

*

_Several days later…_

Hitsugaya was fairly pleased with his life. He had space in which to soar, he had subordinates who slowly improved themselves, he had a slothful but occasionally brilliant fukutaichou… and most of all; for a full week after that disturbing scene at the warehouse he had been having a wonderfully Kurosaki-free life. Not that he minded Kurosakis, but he was having enough trouble controlling the annoying hormones that had come with puberty _without_ being led into obvious temptation.

He had come to the office only to find that his annoying fukutaichou had stolen his teacups again. That was the only dark cloud on the horizon. Hitsugaya _liked_ those teacups, so he was a man on a mission when he strode through the corridor to knock on her door.

"_Matsumoto_!"

"Coming, taichou!" There was the light thumping of feet and then the door slid open.

"Matsumoto, have you… why are you walking around in a _bathrobe_?"

"Oh, we're just relaxing, taichou. Some candles, a little incense and a bit of good company, you know?"

"As if you need to _relax_ more than you already do," he grumbled. "I just came to retrieve my teacups." She frowned a little at that, as if her brain was working too fast for her. She had been drinking a little saké, but not too much apparently.

"Well, that could be a problem…"

"What have you done to my teacups, Matsumoto?!" He _liked_ them, dammit!

"Oh no, nothing bad. It's just that I borrowed them and there's _tea_ in them right now, so it'd be really rude to just take them away." Then, as if struck by sudden intuition, the woman lit up. "Why don't you come inside and once we've all had a nice cup of tea the problem will have solved itself, wouldn't you say, taichou?"

He sighed. She got like this sometimes and she would be miserable if he ran off now.

"I suppose I can spare a few moments."

That elicited a chirping noise of pure happiness as she hugged him. Really! The good thing about his growth spurt was that he was no longer being suffocated by her cleavage whenever she got delighted. That and the fact that people actually started treating him like a _taichou_ and not an unruly kid with too much power. To see his closest friend truly happy like this, a stupid tea party couldn't be much to ask.

He only realised how wrong that thought was as he was gently pushed into the room and the door shut behind him. There was only one other person in there. The dark hair she'd let grow cascaded down the bathrobe's back where she stood by the window, looking away from him.

"On the other hand, I left some paperwork in the office. Maybe it would be best to finish that and let you talk in peace, I can always come get the teacups in the morning…" Hitsugaya Toushiro had rarely wished himself elsewhere with such intensity.

"But _taichou_…"

"That's cold of you, Toushiro." Karin turned to face him, looking unsympathetic. "Rangiku-san wouldn't have invited you if she didn't want you here, right?"

"I suppose," he had to agree.

Her cold manners melted into a friendly smile and she walked up to him. There was something special about the way she walked. He had seen noble women practically _float_ down bejewelled corridors. He had even seen some more skilled seductresses slither forward, as if boneless, when he'd gone to fetch particularly troublesome members of his division.

She didn't glide or tiptoe, she didn't even walk softly. Her every step connected with the ground as if it came _home_. Steady and unwavering.

"I'll admit we weren't exactly discussing the proper way to _fold origami_ before you came," Karin said with a snigger, "but I'm sure we can all meet on mutually interesting ground."

"Sit down, you two, and I'll get the cups," Matsumoto twittered happily.

_Damn_ the woman. Both of them. His fukutaichou had to be well aware that Karin was making him uncomfortable and she had just made it perfectly clear that she wouldn't do anything to stop it. Rather, she'd effectively stuck them alone in here until she returned.

Karin walked by as if she'd just lost interest in anything about him. He turned and settled in an armchair as she fell back onto the couch, draping herself over it.

She wasn't even that feminine in her manners, why should she occupy any part of his thoughts? Apart from a couple of jokes, both on him, she had never shown any interest in him either, and now she was back to her lazy tomboy-attitude.

"So, had a good week?"

She didn't seem to mean anything out of the ordinary, even though that question could obviously have been another joke.

"Who knows?" He sighed. Best not to let himself be baited.

"Don't worry about it, I never told him. And I don't plan on telling anyone else. Sorry if I invaded your spot."

The serious tone in her voice, so different from her earlier brazen manners, stunned him for a moment. Then, just as he was about to answer, Matsumoto came bouncing back into the room.

"Karin, taichou, you're both so serious. Maybe I should break out the saké…"

"No." Hitsugaya said, being echoed by Karin's: "no, really, I'm good."

"Hm." Rangiku didn't sound entirely convinced, but at least she settled on the couch, one of Karin's legs behind her back and the other folded so that the foot lodged by Rangiku's thigh. That made Hitsugaya blink, but he chose not to comment.

"Hey, Rangiku-san, aren't you guys free this weekend? How about we go out then?"

"Aw! I'd love to, but taichou made me promise to do a surprise inspection of the entire division." She sounded so heartbroken Hitsugaya couldn't help but huff irritably.

"If I must, then I'll survive without you Saturday evening."

The way Rangiku lit up was incredible to see. He had come to depend on her, but during their years together some of the games had been replaced with just plain honesty. It wasn't as fun, or in his mind annoying, but it did make their lives easier.

"You're such a _good_ person, taichou!"

"Matsumoto, how much have you been drinking?"

"Not too much…" It was a bit dodgy and she smiled innocently. He just raised an eyebrow and sighed.

"I need to go. Just remember that I don't want you stumbling into the office at midday Sunday and falling asleep on the couch because you've been out all night."

"Of course not, taichou!"

They both knew she would. He had known that from the moment he said she could go. That wasn't the point. He gathered up the empty teacups. She had put the remaining few in a neat pile at the end of the table for him.

"Goodnight."

Maybe it would be a good night and maybe it wouldn't. He would most certainly have disconcerting dreams; that much he could say without feeling very prophetic at all. 'I didn't tell him', Karin had said. It didn't take any great leaps of imagination to understand that she had meant his unwitting, and by one party blessedly unnoticed, interruption the other week. That, at least, was a relief. Getting a reputation as Peeping Tom was _not_ on his to-do list.


	2. Once the Ice Cracks

_Hot Cold ~ yet the shock __of a single steaming cup shattered it that winter day_ – Secret Vespers 08-03-19

*

_**Once the Ice Cracks**_

*

Once the teacups were back in the office, Hitsugaya was tired enough that it didn't really matter if his dreams would be comfortable or not; he needed his sleep. He'd just straighten up the stacks of paperwork and turn in early.

The moment he entered his rooms he received his second shock that day.

Since their early days, Hitsugaya had always known when Matsumoto brought home men. He didn't need to sneak around and look for them, like some fools would have, the taichou's and the fukutaichou's quarters were adjoining and that supplied him more information on her love interests than he really cared to have in the first place.

In the beginning, he had assumed that her… vocal intensity was just one more way of annoying him, like the hugs and the hints. Once he finally figured out that it wasn't, that she really had no idea that the wall between their rooms wasn't quite soundproof, they were close enough friends that he didn't want to bother her with it and anyway he had already gotten to the point where he fell asleep just as easily on those nights as on any other.

This night, however, wasn't like all those others. He _knew_ that Matsumoto was slightly bisexual. She was too passionate to be anything else. On rare occasions, the people she brought home had been women. It had bothered him about as much as the men; which is to say hardly at all. This wasn't just any woman, though.

Even though she only did this a few times a year, in over a hundred years that meant he knew very well what Matsumoto sounded like. That, effectively, meant that every noise that wasn't hers… was…

God.

They were _torturing_ him.

His chest contorted with every moan, every laugh, every growl that slipped through to his ears. Getting undressed and slipping into his night kimono was a trial of fumbling. Was Matsumoto usually this loud? He couldn't seem to remember; and another set of sounds, gasps and whimpers that had to be fairly loud to make it through the wall, made his head ache.

Lying down felt like going to his own execution, but he _had_ to sleep. He had lived through these things hundreds of times already; he would fall asleep sooner or later.

Only, he didn't.

As time went on, he realised that the whimpers had been blessedly innocent. His face was burning and even burying himself under the pillow didn't release him from his agony. He knew them both well enough that his brain supplied him with vivid imagery. Then again, 'ah, higher… yess, just like that' didn't need _too _much of a push to turn into pictures in his mind.

He was only _mortal_, dammit! He couldn't take much more of this. What had come over him? Why couldn't he just ignore it? Either they were being inventive, or his brain heard noises that weren't even there.

They weren't exactly screaming, but to his agonized senses it sure felt like they were.

Breathless, heady, half-coherent whispers, laced with overtones of concentrated pleasure. Moans cut off mid-sound, filled with want, waking a completely alien, passionate need in him.

Just when he was starting to wonder if it would be worth the shame to knock on their door and tell them to _please_ be silent… as if they'd heard his silent prayer, it was all over. There was some snickering and a few moans, but at least there were no more forsaken pleas, or in some cases commands, there were no more… damn. The pictures in his head just wouldn't go away.

The image of Karin, her smile, her skin, her movement, was somehow stuck on his retina. That was the whole problem. It wasn't even _them_; since he knew he felt nothing romantic for Matsumoto that might have made it easier, but no. It was just _her_ and it was driving him insane.

It took him several hours to calm down enough to be able to sleep.

*

Hitsugaya awoke the next morning by someone knocking frantically on his door.

"Taichou! Taichou, are you there?!"

"_Yes_ Matsumoto, no need to panic." He sighed and rose. He had been right about the dreams. There would be dark shadows under his eyes; it had _not_ been a night's restful sleep.

"_Taichou_!" She sounded offended. "When you're out all morning on Paperwork Day I think I have enough reason to panic!"

"All…"

It _couldn't_ be! He _never_ slept longer than Matsumoto! Hitsugaya didn't even stop to change into shihakusho before stumbling out of bed and shoving the door open wide. The sun was high in the sky. Matsumoto was definitely up.

"Taichou, you look terrible, what happened?"

"Rough night." It wasn't until it had slipped from his lips that he realised how bad that sounded. Rangiku's mouth fell open in surprise.

"Taichou…"

"I'm sorry, Matsumoto. I shouldn't take it out on you." Let her think it's nothing, please let her think it's nothing.

"Oh, right. Don't worry, taichou."

Paperwork Day. Perfect.

*

_Some days later…_

It was the middle of the night when Hitsugaya woke up. His blood was pounding in his ears, the sweat running in little streams down his face. _Again_. This was the fourth night since Matsumoto and Kurosaki had set his world afire. Every night since, he had been having uncontrollable, realistic dreams. Every morning, it had been harder to explain things away; he knew Matsumoto was just refraining from bringing it up because she hadn't quite forgotten his first slip the morning after.

"Damn."

He wouldn't be getting any more sleep tonight. Still tired out of his mind, Hitsugaya pulled himself up straight and walked to the office, where he slumped sleepily in his chair. It couldn't go on like this.

A couple of hours later he was sleepily leafing through the papers on his desk. It wasn't even close to dawn yet. What day was it, even? Then out of nowhere, the door flew open and a shadow stumbled drunkenly into the light.

"Matsumoto!"

She looked completely out of it. Rising as quickly as he could, he hurried to her side. Foolish Matsumoto, drinking more than she should.

"T-…taichou, how nice to _see_ you!" Then she went down like a dead in his arms.

It was really, really lucky that he had grown. If she had fallen on him like this fifty years ago, he would have been practically crushed under her and 'the twins', as she had so fondly named her chest.

"Matsumoto, wake up! Argh."

He had just about managed to pull her over to the couch and get her settled on it when someone came after her.

"Rangiku-san? You do realise that Toushiro will eat your heart out if you fall asleep drunk and drool all over the… oh, hi Toushiro."

"Kurosaki." He sounded tense. Actually, if he'd been _anyone_ it would have been tense. From his viewpoint, he sounded like he had a sizeable turtle stuck to his vocal chords.

"What's up? You look like shit." She paused for a moment. "Thanks for the help with Rangiku, she got kind of smashed."

"I noticed." Why wouldn't his voice recover? Damn. Damn it all to Heuco Mundo and back. He was acting like a recruit on his first mission.

"Seriously Toushiro, are you okay?" Just staying still as she walked up to him was a feat. When she reached out to touch his forehead he couldn't help but jerk away.

"I'm _fine_. It's nothing to worry about. You go back out and have fun, Matsumoto can sleep here." There. That had sounded almost acceptable. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to appease the awoken beast.

"Don't be stupid. I'm your friend, I can tell something's wrong. Are you worried I'll have told anyone? I wouldn't do that to you." The frown on her face was a smaller version of Ichigo's. Unfortunately, thinking that didn't make her more like Ichigo and less like herself. "You're sweating, stop being such a hardass and sit down so I can check you over." He was beginning to feel almost panicky about this as he kept slipping away from the touch of her slender hands. "Why are you _avoiding me_?"

"_Will you leave me be just this one day_?"

His command had been harsher than intended. She looked really worried now.

"Toushiro… you do realise I haven't even _seen_ you since we had tea together and that's several days ago? And before that is was a whole week."

"I know." He'd have to go to Fourth for strained muscles after this, the way her presence made him tense up.

A strawberry blonde head poked up over the back of the couch, Rangiku's timing impeccably horrible, as always.

"I think someone's been running around taichou's _dreams_, Karin-chan!" The insane giggle that followed was very typical of a drunken Matsumoto. "He's been acting weird for _days_ and he won't even tell me what's up." She pouted for a moment before gliding back down and resuming an earthshaking snore.

Hitsugaya had never felt the need to "sink through the earth" and just be gone out of someone's sight, as people called it. It hadn't been an issue… before now. Karin's stare, gaping like an idiot, made it an issue.

"Matsumoto's drunk, she doesn't know what she's talking about."

"So what _is_ your problem, then?" She sounded sceptical.

"I…" Maybe the only way he'd get out of the problem was to tell the truth about hearing them. If she understood that part, maybe the rest could stay hidden. "The wall between my room and Matsumoto's isn't exactly soundproof." They stared wordlessly at each other for an awkward moment. "Excuse me, I'll go now."

"Wa-… wait!"

So maybe he could be an asshole when necessary, but at some point he had been brought up well. Instinctively, his feet stopped at her request.

"Yes?"

"I've heard Matsumoto talk about stuff… about how you've got an almost magical knack for knowing when she's got someone over."

"_Yes_?"

"If she doesn't know how… if you've never…" He could almost hear how the all-too-intelligent little cogs in her head put two and two together.

There was an intense silence. He could have sworn there'd be sparks in the air, if he turned to look at her. He needed to get _back_, where he had a chance at not going insane. All he could think about was steering clear of this place as soon as possible. Given time, this foolishness would pass.

Then he felt it. A light touch on his back, making him jolt. Even though he steeled himself, the next touch still made him twitch.

"You're so tense. 'Fess up, Toushirou, you're just mortal with the rest of us."

"I have no interest in fooling around, mortal or no." That should be enough. A few steps brought him to the door.

"Who said anything about fooling around?"

"Isn't that your… _game_? Your friend in the warehouse, Matsumoto…"

"You could never be anyone's toy, Toushiro."

Suddenly, she was so close; he could feel her breath on his neck. It was all crumbling down; control, willpower, sanity… then she touched his back again and his treacherous lips let out a low-pitched groan:

"Karin, don't."

"Eiji was an idiot. He wasn't even very passionate, in the end. Matsumoto's special. You know that. She's brilliant, but she's just a friend."

"So you're looking for passion?"

"Well, I suppose. When I was alive, I was content with being a loner. It was okay that my family; Ichi, Yuzu… that they were the only ones who'd miss me when I went. I got a new chance to try stuff out when I came here, so I decided to do that. I suppose it's changed me, but it's not like I _needed_ to play around. I've just been looking for… someone."

"Someone?"

"Don't try to act so tough. I've been looking for someone cool enough that I can stand being around them for more than just a few days at a time. I haven't been very lucky, and ever since I met Rangiku-san, every time I'd complain about someone acting like an idiot she'd just go on about how perfect her taichou was."

"I'm not perfect."

"Okay, so maybe you're not. You're tearing yourself to pieces over what? Because you don't want to have feelings like the rest of us? Or do you secretly hate me? What is it, Toushiro, 'cause I seriously can't understand why you do this shit."

"I don't have time for this."

"You have all the time in the world. Why are you hurting yourself?"

"I'm not a random trophy."

There was silence for a while after that. If he hadn't heard her breathing, he might have thought she'd gone altogether. After a while, like the sound of ice cracking…

"I can't believe you're such an _ass_. If you want to keep pushing that stick further up your spine, go ahead. I'm out of here. There must be _someone_ in this place who cares about more than their petty friggin' pride."

"Are you insinuating…"

"I'm _saying_ that if you think all I'm after is collecting _trophies_, then I hope you _choke on your own guts_."

How had it come to this? He needed to somehow… do something… before it was too late. Finally, he turned around.

"Karin…" But she had already gone, like a sunset that had passed all too quickly and now all that was left was the darkness.


	3. A heart of Ice, a heart of Water

_Pop Can ~ What if it fizzes over, leaves me sticky, but thirsty? And what if I don't really want it? What if it pinches me, snaps off, leaves tin, blood, and a crack to make the rest go flat? – _Secret Vespers 08-07-18

*

_**A heart of Ice, a heart of Water**_

*

The dreams never went away, but they did take on a darker tone. He would reach out, and they would disappear. Or morph into something else. It wasn't exactly more restful than the first alternative had been and Matsumoto had started asking him questions he couldn't answer.

It was a never-ending plague and even in meetings with the other taichou he found it hard to concentrate. Headaches, something he had never been prone to, were now constantly there. He was in more pain than he had been for decades, but Hitsugaya Toushiro was _not_ a man to give up because of such a trifle.

No, the thing that had him yelling at Matsumoto over details and nearly loosing to Hyorinmaru in training for the first time in decades… was the memory that overlay the ever present visions.

He could've sworn he'd heard her choking back tears, that night. Which was stupid, because Karin didn't cry; in all the years she'd been here, come broken bones or fallen comrades, she had never cried. Everybody knew that.

"Hitsugaya-san, may I join you?"

"Kyoraku-taichou. You may." His thoughts were elsewhere, anyway.

"I have a little problem with one of my officers, one I think you would be able to assist me in solving."

"Hm?" He didn't particularly care, but he had enough respect for Kyoraku's age and wisdom to be marginally polite anyway.

"You see, she has been rather out of spirits lately, probably because she's having these horrible nightmares. Now, I realise that must sound like a petty problem, but I assure you that imagined terrors can be at least as bad as real ones. Especially since the poor soul is best at ease with things of this world, much like yourself."

"I know that nightmares can be a nuisance," Hitsugaya admitted grumblingly, "but I don't see how _I_ should be able to help anyone with such a thing…" And the words 'when I can't even help myself' practically hung over his head.

"Because, apparently you feature rather frequently _in_ them." That jerked Hitsugaya back to uncomfortable reality and onto his feet.

"I don't know what I have done to earn it," he growled.

He had been so distant lately. The truth was that he might actually have scared some blameless, low-ranked officer without even noticing it. It couldn't go on like this anymore. He would have to find a way to get rid of these feelings before they suffocated him.

"Now, now, don't let it upset you." Kyoraku; always the same. "If you don't feel adequately prepared, I'm sure I can think of another way to help Kurosaki-chan, I merely wished to…"

"Kurosaki… _Karin_?" Was she one of Kyoraku's officers? He hadn't even known.

"Yes, you have met her before, Hitsugaya-san, haven't you? She's such a sweet girl and it's so sad to see her in pain."

"I doubt she'd welcome my interference, even if I could make a difference."

"Ah, but in this, I think you are mistaken, my friend." Kyoraku said with that infuriating smile. Hitsugaya just glared wordlessly at him. "You see… well, perhaps it would be best to _show_ you. Will you come with me?"

What could he do? The man wasn't giving him much choice.

"As you wish."

His senpai sure didn't waste any time as they headed for the Eighth division barracks. They only stopped to wait for the main gates to open; as taichou of another division, even accompanied by the taichou of this one, it would have been impossibly rude to come storming in any other way. Hitsugaya may have left sense at the door weeks ago, but his manners when dealing with division regulations were still impeccable for the most part.

"This way, Hitsugaya-san."

Kyoraku led the way through the corridors of Eighth and around back to where the seated officers had their rooms, his pink robe billowing behind him. This area was relatively sheltered from the rest of the division. Two of them were standing in the corridor, whispering to each other with obvious discomfort before hurrying out of the way as they approached. He didn't have to ask why.

The door they had reached was well closed, but the sounds of someone tossing and turning in a nightmare were familiar to him; Matsumoto had been pained for years after Gin's defection. The older taichou put a hand on his shoulder.

"I shall leave you here. If you want to talk to her, that's your own business."

Something occurred to Hitsugaya then, brought on by the darkness and the fear.

"She's alone, right?"

"I thought that was the talk of the town, really," Kyoraku said with a sigh. "She hasn't been out a single time in much too long. The last, I heard, was that evening when she and Rangiku-chan went to… but that's a story for another time, I'm sure you are busy, Hitsugaya-san. Suffice to say, she has been performing her officer duties as well as always, but it is a taichou's privilege to worry, is it not?"

"Hm." Considering she was a Kurosaki… she wouldn't lose her mulish determination to keep her workload up unless she was dead already. "Kyoraku-taichou…" he turned his head, but this time he was alone. People seemed to be doing that to him a lot, lately.

Uncertain of what he was supposed to do, Hitsugaya settled by the wall of the empty corridor. The sounds through the door were slightly muffled, but he had sharp enough senses that such would be all he needed.

She was whimpering in her sleep, mumbling incoherently. For quite a while that was all there was to it. He was just considering that maybe Kyoraku blew this out of proportion when the whimpers became stifled cries and the mumbling somewhat more audible.

"_Why are you… … …no, I just wanted to… … …wait! Stop! You deluded little…_"

He had to laugh ironically at that. Even in the midst of a nightmare she was spunky; defiantly alive, no matter the circumstances… but she was afraid, that much was clear. Afraid of _what_, he couldn't exactly put his finger on, but it made his heart ache.

"Karin… I'm sorry, I don't know what happened."

"_Toshi…_" There was no way she could have heard him and she didn't sound content at all. There was pain and fear and anger in her cry. "_Toushiro!_" Mostly pain.

Before he knew what he was doing, Hitsugaya was on his feet and through the door, shaking her. This wasn't the kind of nightmare you woke from easily and he couldn't take it any longer. Her eyes snapped open, almost wider than he thought possible, and a moment later the palm of her hand connected with his jaw, making him stumble backwards.

"_Ow_!" She packed a _mean_ punch.

"Ah! I'm sorry, Toshi, I just…" she sat up, dumbstruck for a moment. "Toushiro?"

"Yeah. I came to apologize."

Now, that wasn't exactly true, but if it would ease her nightmares, it was the very least he could do. She sat there, emotions of awe and relief fluttering across her face, but it only took her a minute to revert to stony disdain.

"Right. Breaking into my room and scaring the _shit_ out of me seems like the best way to do that, I'm sure. You've apologized, you're free to go. No pressure."

"I said I'm sorry. I don't know what went wrong, but…"

"What went wrong, eh? I take it you were absent during the part where you accused me of _whoring_ myself out for _fame_?" It was rude and crude and below the ice he could hear a hint of how badly she was hurting. He had never meant to hurt _her_.

"I never said that."

"No need to."

"I never _meant_ that."

"Then why the _fuck_ did you…" Her breath caught in her throat and he watched as she had to straighten again. "Whatever."

Hitsugaya let his hand fall from his still-hurting jaw and just looked at her. She looked fragile like this, though he knew very well that wasn't true in any sense of the word. Occasionally sensitive, perhaps, but not fragile. It was just the silvery moonlight through the window that played tricks on his eyes.

"Come on, Kyoraku-taichou is worried about you." He could have added 'as am I', but that wasn't his style. So he simply extended a hand that she looked at for several moments before ignoring as she rose.

"Right, mister, I think you've spent more than enough time in here."

O-wah, that was cold.

"I can't pretend to understand why you live the way you do, but it doesn't matter. I hope you find whatever… _whoever_ you were looking for."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He couldn't answer that question, because he didn't _have_ the answer to it. It was something that had slipped past him, apparently without taking the route through his brain. She huffed at the heavy silence and pulled the kimono tighter around her body. It was meant to be a prudish gesture, that much was obvious, but the way the cloth slimmed around her hips and waistline at the tug reminded him of how it had all started. Hitsugaya could feel his cheeks burning. The window. That was a good place. He walked over and stood there silently, hoping that she hadn't noticed his blush in the darkness.

"Were you serious?" Karin's voice was cold, but curious.

"What?"

"That you never _meant _to say it like that."

"Of course." He would have thought that to be obvious. He wasn't a complete bastard, after all.

Then something touched his back, high up in the middle, right between his shoulders. He shuddered involuntarily, drawing in breath sharply, but he couldn't move an inch. Did he want to? With her earlier fury there for all the world to see… he had expected her to rage on for weeks, maybe even years, before they could even try to be friends again.

"I should punch your stupid face," she mumbled.

Her arms closed around his body as she pressed herself against him. He had been so sure that he had suppressed his need for her, this fire in his cold blood; and the dreams had even become a little less troubling… but it couldn't be very well suppressed, if just a simple touch like this made his knees feel weak. Taking one of her hands in his, he lifted it to his lips and bushed a light kiss over it. Why? He wasn't sure.

This feeling was absurd, not to mention that it made him do things without thinking first. He had already promised himself not to be just another man in her bed; there was no need to indulge in that kind of infantile games. Yet, when he kissed her hand… the shudder that ran through her made all his promises seem pointless. He turned, careful not to touch her more than necessary; his senses were already overloading. Something, at least, remained of the cold logic that was his own essence and not the desperate, needing monster she roused in his chest. A question, perhaps a tiny bit of irrational hope.

"Once all this is over… will you be gone?"

She shrugged. That was _not_ the answer he had hoped for. This could get complicated if…

"I don't think so, but it's not like I can predict the future."

It still wasn't the answer he had preferred, but for now it was good enough. He took hold of her gently, one hand at the small of her back and the other holding onto her arm.

"This is senseless," he stated as he pulled her close, into a soft first kiss.

"Completely insane," she agreed as soon as she could breathe again, one of her hands finding its way to his wild, tousled hair.

"I'll regret it later." He caressed her back, rubbing gentle circles with his hand.

"Yeah, especially if Ichi ever finds out."

She laughed at his surprise, leaning in closer to breathe on his earlobe, which made his eyes widen even further for a moment, then close with a shiver of suppressed pleasure. Her hands were tugging gently at his hair while her lips moved downward, trailing light kisses along his neck.

"See?" she mumbled. "Why would anyone want to refuse this sensation? I mean, I know it's possible to go through life without knowing or caring that it _exists_, I've done that already… but holding back once you've felt it?"

She pressed them closer together, her kisses turning into little nibbles, shooting white lightning up his spine and out into every hair on his body.

"Because it might do… ah, more harm than good, Kurosaki."

She stopped instantly then, her lips leaving his neck, her hands failing their explorations.

"'_Kurosaki_', Toushiro?"

"Hm? It's your name."

"Go outside of this division and ask _any_ Shinigami who 'Kurosaki' is and they'll say Ichi. Besides, I wasn't planning on…" her hands resumed their earlier actions and she trailed the tip of her nose along his jawline with a snicker, "…calling you _Hitsugaya-taichou_ tonight."

"Tonight?" He froze. Admittedly, he hadn't thought that far. She went still and blinked a few times. Then, she laughed again.

"I'll say. If Kyoraku-taichou hasn't come to a few conclusions on his own already, I'll gladly eat his hat, so we might as well prove him right."

"I just… those rooms…" He blushed. Even in the gloomy light of the moon, that much was visible.

"A-ah, yeah. Didn't think of that."

Despite that nuisance, neither of them had let go. Karin absently teased the rogue lock of hair that fell down over his eye, while he was content to watch her fingers move playfully around the white strands.

"The warehouse?" he suggested.

"No way. Some memories don't mix, Toshi. It's not like Eiji's a completely bad memory, he's just… not as cool as you."

"'Cool', huh?"

"Yeah. But your quarters… the only adjoining ones are Matsumoto's, right?"

"And the office. What were you thinking?"

"That you could be killing more than a few birds with one stone, there."

"How so?"

"I doubt you'll ever feel comfortable telling her about, well… how loud it is between those two quarters. Or how she won't need to implement some of the more radical ideas she's been sprouting over tea; she's been getting _really_ anxious to see you with someone."

"Matsumoto?"

"She cares a lot, you know. Knowing would make her happy, but being _the only one_ to know would make her feel _really_ good. We would just have to point her in the right direction to make sure that the gossips of Seireitei discard any rumour about us. You wouldn't have to worry about Ichi for a while."

"I hear you've been spending too much time with my fukutaichou. When will you start skipping paperwork?" She punched him for that, but he didn't budge, just looked smugly at her.

"Let's get over there and we'll see who's the _novice_ after what I was planning on doing to you." The tug on his shihakusho was light, but firm.

*

Kyoraku Shunsui watched with an amused grin from beneath his favourite sakura tree as the two youngsters slipped out through the window and then the door in the wall. The young man had needed to lighten up since he first became captain a hundred or so years ago. Now he was sneaking about in the middle of the night holding hands with a young, but promising officer. Of course, their plan to take advantage of Matsumoto's incredible talent at socialising had been quite brilliant.

Ukitake would be thrilled at this little piece of news.

*

_A/N: I've finally been able to find a logical basis for why they can't just "jump over stuff" inside Seireitei. Unfortunately a little late, so my "servants' gate"/"Seats' own entrance" was the best save I had the energy to come up with._

_Apparently "the Sekkiseki (_殺気石_, spirit reducing stone/"bloodstone") /…/ negates all Reiryoku, preventing the ability to gather Reishi underneath your feet to walk in the air."_

_I used the bleach dot wikia dot com-wiki for this information._


	4. In the Dark of Night

"Nice place you've got here," Karin mumbled, suddenly nervous.

It had been so _easy_ to fall for him. When Toushiro had walked in on her and Eiji, picturing herself in his arms had been only a tiny leap of imagination away. From that moment, even after their misunderstanding some weeks ago, he had been on her mind more often than not. Even Matsumoto had been hard pressed to distract her.

It wasn't quite as easy to act cool in the face of his quarters. When he was just Toushiro, the guy in a crowd, it was easy for her to forget that he _was_ Hitsugaya-taichou… he'd held and earned that title for as long as she'd been alive _and_ dead. Then again, she wasn't some girly-girl who'd get intimidated over the fact that his rooms were more than five times the size of her own.

"This? It's okay. It's just a place."

He had become distracted. She'd have to start over again, in a way, now that he was back to being stiff and edgy. Even so, he spoke first.

"What did you have in mind, now?" He moved toward her. That was all she needed. In a few, decisive steps she was putting one hand on his shoulder and pulling him closer with the other.

Lips met, tongues danced, carefully at first, searching, trying, then battling. Dark eyes were glittering mischievously in the moonlight. They both gasped for air before diving in again, like starving lions fighting over a piece of meat.

"Let's just see where it goes," Karin mumbled breathlessly into his mouth.

This was the voice that had haunted him; the voice in his dreams, growling with natural command, only to find it could beg for release under skilled attention, moaning in pleasure. The memory alone, triggered by her proximity, made him gasp for air.

"You… goddess…"

She smiled at that and peeled his haori off one shoulder.

"And here I thought I was taking it slow."

There was a moment of tense silence as he allowed her to work on the knot of his obi, content to quickly fold the haori and drop it to the floor where they wouldn't stumble on it. The aura of complete, unshakeable focus that she emanated now was more enticing than her earlier brashness, really. Hitsugaya allowed himself to reach up and catch a couple of hairs that had fallen forward into her face and push them behind her ear, earning him an amused glance from Karin before she returned to the task at hand.

"What?"

"It was just… sweet of you. Not exactly cool, but sweet. Argh, these things really aren't made to come off, are they?"

Catching her hands in one of his, Hitsugaya held them still for a moment while he tugged carefully in some strategic places. She had already loosened the knots a bit, so it only took him a short while to undo the last part. As it fell to the floor, his hakama fell with it and the kimono opened ever so slightly.

In the time it took him to blink once, she had wrenched a hand from his grasp. With unchecked curiousity she let her fingertips fly over his chest, up to his shoulder and follow the curve of his arm, pushing the kimono ahead of it. Then she let it roam back to his chest, tickle down his side in a way that made him acutely aware of her touch.

"_Karin_."

She smiled ferally at his groan and tried to release her other hand as well, but Toushiro had reached some sort of limit. Weeks ago, he'd heard another man whisper her name in much the same way. It didn't matter. She was here now and damned be anyone who spread malice about her actions.

Snatching her free arm with a grip around the wrist, he took two deep breaths before forcibly transferring it back to the hand that already gripped her other one.

Removing an obi with one hand wasn't the easiest task in the world. Especially while trying to kiss her at the same time, but she was too alluring to resist for long. Deciding to try a bit of what she had shown him earlier, he planted a kiss on her neck, receiving the hitch of her breath as reward, even as she moved her head a little, exposing her neck to his attentions.

A couple of slow, exploring kisses later, he felt her hand trying to break loose from his grip and eased it a bit. Free again, her hand went back to his chest, touching, caressing, even as his kisses found their way to the sensitive skin at the base of her neck.

"These uniforms aren't made to be taken off." She sounded slightly annoyed.

"Rather, to be taken off reverently," he argued. He had meant no more or less than he said, but it made her laugh. "What?"

"Ah, nothing. Just as opposed to ripping it all off in a hurry."

He blushed again. She seemed to keep finding weak spots he hadn't known existed. Or maybe they hadn't been weak spots until she stumbled onto them. Releasing her other hand, he concentrated on the sash for a moment, pulled, moved, loosened, pulled… and it fell free in his hand.

"Are _you_ in a hurry?" he asked simply, tempting her to laugh again even though he had meant it seriously.

"Dunno."

A quick shake of her shoulders deposited the last of her shihakusho on the floor, stunning him with her fearless beauty. He wasn't sure whether to follow the impulse to touch her, take in as much of her as possible with as many senses as he could, or stay completely still because the moment might shatter. In the end, Karin made the decision for him.

Sidestepping him for a moment, she walked up to the window. His gaze followed her while his body was frozen. She stood at the side of the window, hidden from any casual glance, watching the still of the night tensely.

"Is it good, to be a taichou?"

"What?"

She turned to him, her curiosity as serious as he'd ever seen her. Her naked form was distractedly stunning, when he could take it all in at once from a distance like this.

"I haven't exactly asked anyone before, but I figured… well, we're going to get pretty personal anyway. Kyoraku-taichou suggested that I should do the trials to become fukutaichou."

"If Kyoraku says you're ready, then I suppose you are. It's certainly more interesting than just being another seated officer, but it's a lot more work… for everyone except Matsumoto."

"Yeah. Except her."

Karin couldn't stop a wide grin from spreading across her face at his sudden reaction. His eyes narrowed and one strange, wordless moment later their hands were touching, fingertips meeting, brushing over the soft skin of toned muscles. Her hand pushed the fabric off one arm without hesitation, making him stiffen a little bit.

"Weren't you the one in a hurry?" she teased him.

The world stood still as he reached out, placing one hand on her hip, letting it slide upward and onto her back, pulling her so close that their chests touched.

"I'm not sure."

Karin brought up her other hand, with a flick of her wrist sending his kimono gliding down his arm like a descending, black flag.

"I suppose it's never fast enough, but you don't want to rush it either." With that, she let go, backing up to the mattress on the floor, sitting down with a smile. "Come on, you."

He let the kimono fall forgotten to the floor as he followed her, lowering himself to one knee by her side and carefully pushing her down onto the bed. Hesitating just a little at first, she resisted momentarily before yielding to the pressure. He frowned at the short-lived opposing force.

"Should I stop?"

"No. If I want you to stop, I'll tell you to. Some challenge just makes it more fun, though."

"'Fun'?"

"Yeah, it's not like I'm doing it for procreation. Pleasure, fun… just being close to you is a pretty good reward, too."

Hitsugaya very nearly choked on his own tongue at that, but decades of self-control had taught him a few things and he managed to take a couple of deep breaths instead.

"Hrm."

"Heh, sorry. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, it's just the truth."

"Don't apologise."

"Right. Who knows how much time we've got?" She leaned up and took his hand, pulling him down over her.

*

_Some time later…_

"You're a natural, Toushiro," Karin hummed into the base of his neck. "We could both learn a lot, I bet, but you've got some damn _magical_ hands already."

Hitsugaya lay silent, breathing shallow as he tried to gather his scattered thoughts. All the "what ifs" in his head were stunned silent. Her voice crying his name still echoed in his otherwise blank mind. Yes, everything had been worth it, just to hold her close. Weeks of sleepless nights had been worth it, though for all his knowledge and genius he didn't understand how or why.

Tightening his grip with the arm that cuddled her close, he let his free hand roam idly over her soft skin, partly because the feeling was still amazing and partly because of the noises of absolute satisfaction she surrendered to his senses, already battered from so many intense feelings.

"You know, Toushiro, there seems to be a difference between seeing someone just for the hell of it and because you really might like them."

"I wouldn't know."

"Neither did I, until now."

"So?"

"Hm?" She let a hand play through his tousled, white hair.

"Would you care to explain?"

"Not really, no." With that, she placed a kiss on his chest, proceeding to remove his arm from around her shoulders.

"Are you leaving?"

Until this moment, he hadn't been aware of exactly how afraid he was she'd just slip away and never return. It was like the coldness of leaving his embrace was an indication that she'd rather be elsewhere. It hurt more than he cared to admit.

"No. But I _will_ need to get back to my own quarters soon. Maybe not next time, but imagine the gossip my stupid old taichou would spread if you visited me and then I didn't sleep in my own bed."

"What happens now, then?"

There was a tense silence. Hitsugaya knew himself well enough to realise that what he _wanted_ to happen now wasn't necessarily for the best. Then again, he found that this could be one of the rare times in his life when "for the best" would have to wait in favour of personal concerns. Assuming she even let him make that sacrifice, of course. If she didn't, he'd simply proceed with business as usual. That sounded much easier than he anticipated, but it would be best to keep the risk of something like that happening in mind. She hadn't promised anything, after all.

"Now? I suppose we sneak around like thieves in the night for a while. Figure out whether this is just a temporary thing or not. If it is, then one of us has it easy."

"Who are you implying?"

"Well, that depends on whoever loses interest first, wouldn't you say? If it's permanent, though… we're gonna have to deal with Ichi sooner or later."

"Hm."

"Yeah, let's save that trouble for when it comes. He's a troublemaker, Ichi-nii is."

"Really now?" In a hundred years, Hitsugaya had lived a long time with his fellow taichou and, inevitably, somewhere along the way he had evolved his own subdued sort of humor. "It seems to be a family trait."

That immediately started a mock fight, where Karin armed herself with pillows. Dodging the wild swings, he managed to grapple her and they both fell to the floor. Snickering, she snuggled up close in his embrace, ghosting a kiss on his lips.

"Let's do this again soon."

"Yes. Let's."

*

_A/__N: I have more of this written, however I'm not entirely pleased with it so you'll all have to wait for it a while, maybe focus on a third part for the Mad Scheme story? I can always be bribed with reviews, you know!_


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